Scots living in England should face new Tebbit law ...

The Crow has had quite a few Scottish friends who have told him at length over the years about what a great place Scotland is, and how it’s the best place in the World to live.

The Crow’s usual line of enquiry tends to be “so … why do you live in Hemel Hempstead then?”.

It seems no-one loves Scotland more than the Scot who no longer lives there. Even Scottish Nationalist Party front man and campaigner Sean Connery only became involved in the cause after relocating to Spain.

The fact is there are a lot of Scots who come over to England, buy an English home, take an English job, send their children to an English school, and yet still consider themselves Scottish.



Norman Tebbit put forward the suggestion for a "Tebbit test" for such economic migrants to England. In it, migrants to England would have to prove their dedication to their new country to be allowed to continue to live here.


The Crow would like to go one further on this idea, sending the Security Services around to the houses of Scottish citizens living in England,

• all forms of Tartan would be removed and burned outside
• Scottish football flags replaced by English ones
• bagpipes would be rendered safe in a controlled explosion by specially trained officers
• Bay City Rollers CDs would be made unplayable by judicious application of a blowtorch
• should any copy of Braveheart be found on the premises, the owners will be instantly guilty of treason and sedition against the English government, and taken outside to be shot

The Scotland football strip would be acceptable in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Aberdeen

Try wearing the same kit South of Greta Green, and the strip will be stripped by the Police under new powers …

Yes, Norman would be proud …


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