We don’t need no … air conditioning …

Another Summer, another heatwave …

Currently in the UK, workers are protected from working in environments of extreme cold, but not extreme heat – see article here.

And at my previous employer (and countless others) didn’t this lack of protection for workers just show! The building supposedly had an air conditioning system – hard to believe when in Winter the office temperature was just under 30 degrees Centigrade.

In Summer it would reach 35 degrees. No laughing matter when the company insists that because you have an air conditioner (although it didn’t matter that it didn't seem to do anything), employees are not allowed to open windows in an attempt to ventilate their office space.

To be doubly sure of this, they made sure all windows were locked and bolted – not out of spite you understand, but out of concern for our wellbeing.

In the Summer of 2003, we had the hottest summer on record, and as expected, office temperatures started to exceed 35 degrees.

“Don’t panic” said the management, “there’s nothing wrong, the air conditioning is functioning”, was the line we got from our managers.

The only highlight of this period was that a few of us had managed to persuade Kim, the departmental babe, to dress down for the heat …


On and on the saga went for over two weeks of increased office illness, lethargy and dehydration - it getting so bad that I would constantly hear the theme tune to Lawrence of Arabia constantly in my head whilst I was at my desk, and ended up shooting a man dead at in argument at a water cooler, "This is a Bedouin well, and you'd do well to remember that".

Then came the day management sprang into action. A report came from the server room that the companies central computers temperature was nearing 40 degrees. This was above the threshold for these machines, and so they’d have to be switched off immediately – meaning the work in the building would have to be stopped.

An emergency repair technician was called in, and the air conditioning was functioning again within 24 hours!!!

So it’s interesting to note than unlimited human suffering and misery means less to managers than a computers warranty being invalidated.

And this from a company who claimed to be “employer of choice”, who claimed “our greatest resource is our employees” – a worrying statement when you work in Soylent House …


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