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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Nuclear bacon roll revisited ...


In the comments I've been asked how you'd go about constructing a nuclear bacon roll - nothing could be simpler for one such as myself trained in the dual arts of cookery and nuclear physics.

First off, you need to no surprise, cook the bacon. Personally I prefer using about 3 very thing slices, and quite lightly grill them, as grilling is the healthier option. I know many who prefer to use a frying pan and fry them in a little lard to give them a greasier complexion. I tend to leave the bacon cooking until it's still quite pink, with a bit of the grease coming out - again there are many who postulate it's better to leave the bacon until it's crispy, and that I'm quite continental in my cooking outlook.

With the bacon cooked, you need to select a roll - I think the best kind are about palm sized with a light flouring on them. You need to slice open with a knife and butter lightly. If you used the frying pan option, you might want to dip the inside instead into the bacon juices.

Add bacon and a light dressing of brown sauce and then wrap in the nuclear fissionable foil of your choice. There you go, a tasty morsel of a WMD!

Its interesting to note that as a bacon roll consists mainly of carbohydrates, the carbon within should act in the same way as a graphite control rod in a nuclear reaction, absorbing any free neutrons and acting as a nuclear inhibitor. Thus the combined action of removing the roll and scrunching the fissionable foil will cause a decrease in the nuclear inhibitor and increase in the fissionable mass density.

Now if I can only figure out how to wrap a single bacon roll in 5kg of fissionable material ...


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