Getting ready in the Crow household ...

Not quite how the Crow looks when allowed to "dress himself" ...

When “getting ready” to go to work of any morning, the Crow cycles through the checklist of clothes he’ll need for the day,

• one pair underwear
• one pair socks
• one pair trousers
• one shirt
• one tie
• one pair shoes

Mrs Crow cannot decide what to wear again ...

Theoretically, Mrs Crow, my wife of 10 years goes through a similar process

• one pair underwear
• one bra
• one pair socks (or tights)
• one pair trousers
• one blouse
• one pair shoes

However the Crow cannot help but notice the vast difference in time between the two theoretically identical processes of male vs femal getting ready!

Being a scientist, the Crow has been drawn to investigate …

The difference seems to be one of process between the way most men and women approach this list. The Crow approaches it as …

• Next? One pair of underwear. Check .
• Next? One pair of socks. Check.
• Next? One pair of trousers. Check .
• Next? One shirt. Check.
• Next? One tie. Check .
• Next? One pair of shoes. Check.

A systematic and functional approach, find what you need, and tick it off your list, move to the next. You might end up with an orange tie and a pink shirt, but you DO have one of everything and that’s what matters.

The wife has a different, female perspective on things which is driven by a separate question that the Crow (being a man) is unable to form in his head. It's quite a simple question with a difficult answer and it goes like this, “does it go with everything else that I have on?”. So welcome to the mind of Mrs Crow …

• Next? One pair of underwear. Does it go with everything else that I have on? Check .
• Next? One pair of socks. Does it go with everything else that I have on? Check.
• Next? One pair of trousers. Does it go with everything else that I have on? Check .
• Next? One shirt. Does it go with everything else that I have on? No! Immediate panic – return to beginning and start again.
• Restart! One pair of underwear. Does it go with everything else that I have on? Check .
• Next? One pair of socks. Does it go with everything else that I have on? No! Immediate panic – return to beginning and start again.

This process as any software engineer will tell you is a loop with an indeterminable end condition, restarting if unsatisfactory events occur.

Of course the beauty of the female approach is they very rarely end up going out looking like the local retard. The disadvantage is of course is (as any man will tell you who has waited for his wife to get ready) that the end condition is indeterminable (and potentially unreachable), and hence you might turn up to wherever looking stunning, but you’ll be so late that everyone else will have gone home.

Surely though now there is less difference between the sexes, there must be some middle ground? The Crow welcomes any sartorial hints on his message board …


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