The call centre blues ...

Well we've developed problems with our cooker AGAIN. This means the inevitable warranty call centre shuffle.

It's amazing how what infuriated you a few years ago you've developed a tolerance for.

Okay - the simplest call is going to take 40 minutes ...

Okay - you have to go through the touchtone menus again and again ...

Okay - the first person who actually answers the phone is not based in your country (actually she was Welsh and had a whole kind of Charlotte Church sexy voice thing going on, although she seemed surprisingly immune to the Crow's charms) then refers you to a second person and the wait begins again ...

Okay - person number two refers you right back to person number one, and the Waltz goes on.

In spite of all these indignities, being English I feel it's my duty to be brave, to queue with silent and polite dignity even if it is a phone queue.

But is it really necessary to subject me to a bad synth version of Rod Stewarts "I am sailing" throughout my time in phone queue purgatory? Oh the humanity!

All material copyrighted as bullsh*t ...